Petals of Me

October 17, 2020

Pieces of me
slowly falling away.
Petals sprinkling the ground.
Each one, a lesson
I learned to be proud of.
Some petals, limiting fears
I escaped the icy grip of.
Other petals, lingering doubts
I chose to be free of.

The old petals of me
soon will wilt and fade.
Settle into the ground
and melt with the mud.
Disappear just long enough
to nourish the ground.
So that next season I can blossom
from what was once my ruin. 

Published by Allowing The Spaces By Alisha J. Steele

I'm a lover of many things, writing, music, dogs, food, gardening, Yoga, traveling.....I think I fall in love with something new each day. I do enjoy meeting new cities and am particularly smitten with New Orleans. It's culture, music, food and whole energy invigorates me yet also puts me at ease. I have an incredible 17 year old son named Anthony whom I placed with an adoptive family at birth. It is an open adoption and by open.....I mean wide open! I am friends with both parents and am close with my son. He grew up in a town close to me and I could visit him whenever. There's never been awkwardness, just love and acceptance of me into their family. Even when his parents moved to Florida and divorced, my relationship with each of them including Anthony remained strong. It's been the most unexpected journey and one I'm grateful for every day. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in Aug of 2019 and am still wandering up and down that path of discovery. Fortunately, it has had minimal impacts on my physical ability at this point, other than needing to be extra cautious with heat and stress. Manage your stress all the doctors say.....oh sure, no problem, just that little thing?! Seriously this is sage advice, I get it, but speaking as someone who has suffered panic attacks, telling me I must manage my stress so my disease won’t progress, stresses me out!! Anyone else out there hear me??! And that brings me to today. The day I created this blog was five days after the man I love and had spent 4 1/2 years with told me he was no longer in love with me and left. Gulp.....breathe....breathe. And so that was the inspiration for all of this. I had always enjoyed writing but never did it on a regular basis. I would make excuses or say I'm waiting for inspiration. But once the floor beneath me gave out and I was falling into every emotion, everything flowed so quickly. I had to write. I'd wake in the middle of the night and grab my phone to write in the notepad. In the morning, almost every sight or smell would trigger a thought which lead to words and before you know it I was writing. All the time. I had to. It was my only life line. After pouring my heart out on Facebook I soon realized I needed more. I finally decided to take the leap and create my blog.

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